


All the Lonely People

by Auroralovegood



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 05:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auroralovegood/pseuds/Auroralovegood
Summary: Billy and Steve are both struggling with things and then they reach the end of their rope.No character death.Song fic.Warning: Suicide attempt, read A/N at the beginning of the workRated because of a little language, but mostly the subject matter.





	All the Lonely People

ATTENTION// AN:

I wrote this to work through some things. This has never been and will never be a joke to me. I know that this might be triggering to people, so I’ve tagged it accordingly. If you are ever feeling suicidal, please talk to someone, get help. My inbox is also open.

 

Songfic: Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles

 

_ Ah look at all the lonely people _

 

(Billy POV)

If anyone were to look at Billy, they’d think he was never alone or bored. He was always surrounded by people and invited to all the best parties.

All of it was superficial though. He didn’t have any real friends. People were a way to pass time in a shithole town. It was a way to not go home.

No one actually knew him or anything about him. He was really just completely alone.

Ah look at all the lonely people

 

(Steve POV)

His fall from popularity hardly changed much. He realized that those he’d thought of as friends previously were nothing of the sort.

The girl he’d loved thought he was bullshit, and she was probably right.

Without her or his artificial popularity Steve was alone.

He ate lunch in his car, if he ate at all. He went home to an empty house, and he was never able to sleep without nightmares.

He wished had anyone to talk to or be with.

 

_ Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice _

_ In the church where a wedding has been _

_ Lives in a dream _

 

(Billy POV)

He walked around in a constant haze.

Everything in his life was merely posturing, it was all fake.

Everything felt dreamlike. A disconnect from reality. He was beginning to think he couldn’t keep doing it.

 

XXXX

 

(Steve POV)

Steve couldn’t sleep. All he ever saw when he closed his eyes was monsters, blood, and death.

He saw things that happened, things he might have imagined, and even new unrelated horrors his brain made up on its own.

He saw the kids die. He saw Nancy die. He saw everyone involved die along with numerous people not involved.

His life was covered in a dreamlike haze. Nothing felt real at the same time as his actual dreams felt so real. He had trouble remembering most days.

He was so tired.

 

_ Waits  at the window, wearing the face _

_ That she keeps in a jar by the door _

_ Who is it for _

 

(Billy POV)

He always walks around covered in bruises Everyone assumed some idiot had picked a fight with him and lost. He never corrected anyone, and he never let anyone see the full extent. 

If his father ever found out he used makeup to hide the evidence when he could, he’d get beaten even worse than he was already. 

He wasn’t really sure why he was putting the effort in. There wasn’t anyone who actually cared or who would do anything even if they realized what was happening to him.

 

XXXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

Not that anyone ever paid him any attention, but he did everything he could to act normal.

He was constantly exhausted, and he knew it was affecting him appearance.

  
On the extremely rare occasion anyone asked him anything, he laughed it off and made excuses.

He wasn’t even sure why he bothered. His parents never came home, they barely even remembered he existed. 

No one cared about him, and he wasn’t even sure if he cared about himself anymore.

 

_ All the lonely people _

_ Where do they all come from _

_ All the lonely people  _

_ Where do they all belong _

 

(Billy POV)

It wasn’t a good night for him, so he wound up at the quarry drinking.

He was alone. He preferred to be alone at the quarry. It was also a week night, and there weren’t any parties. Not that he’d have gone with his face bleeding like it was.

He didn’t actually have any friends, so he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

 

XXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

As per usual, he woke from nightmares.

It was still the middle of the night, and there was no chance Steve was getting back to sleep.

He wandered the house, found himself a liqueur bottle, then managed to make it outside to the pool.

Under no circumstances was he touching the water. Not after what happened there with Barb.

He wasn’t sure what possessed him to go outside and stare at the pool. It never did him any real good, but somehow he felt a little less alone.

Even if his only company was the memory of a dead girl.

 

_ Father MaKenzie writing the words _

_ Of a sermon that no one will hear _

_ No one comes near _

 

(Billy POV)

He wasn’t sure what he was writing for. Certainly not who for.

Who would even care if he was gone?

Everyone at school would forget quickly. His father, Max, and all her brat friends would probably celebrate.

Yet he still he wrote.

When he was done, he folded the note and put it in his pocket.

 

XXXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

He was crying. It was pathetic. He was getting emotional over a stupid note. 

He wasn’t even sure why he was bothering. It could be months before anyone would be home, and even then they might not notice he wasn’t there. He definitely wasn’t going to let the kids see it, they were  already scarred enough as it was.

It was better to just disappear from his own life, just like he’d already disappeared from everyone elses.

Still, he folded up the note, and stuffed it into his pocket.

 

_ Look at him working, darning his socks _

_ In the night when there’s nobody there _

_ What does he care _

 

(Billy POV)

He’s really not sure why he cares so much. Why he even goes through the motions.

What was really holding him back.

 

XXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

He couldn’t think of a single reason he was toughing it out. He could just give up.

He shouldn’t care what happened after he was gone.

 

_ All the lonely people _

_ Where do they all come from _

_ All the lonely people  _

_ Where do they all belong _

 

(Billy POV)

It was decided. He got in his Camaro and headed to the quarry.

 

XXXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

He spent the day walking in the woods. His feet eventually took him to the quarry, right to the edge, where he stood until he heard a car.

 

_ Ah look at all the lonely people _

_ Ah look at all the lonely people _

 

(Both)

He wasn’t at the quarry alone.

 

_ Eleanor Rigby died in a church _

_ And was buried along with her name _

_ Nobody came _

 

(Billy POV)

There was already someone there. Standing on the edge of the quarry was none other than Steve fucking Harrington. Of course he was there to make the end just as shitty as as his entire life.

Harrington turned his upper body toward the car, and stared unblinking for a moment. He slowly turned back around, and in one motion stepped off the edge.

Billy felt as though he’d been stabbed in the chest from the unexpected shock.

 

XXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

When the car came to a stop, he turned to look.

He stared at the all too familiar car. It was almost poetic that Hargrove was there. 

The blonde had nearly killed him once, now he could witness the completion of the job.

He turned back to the quarry and stepped forward.

 

_ Father McKenzie wiping the dirt _

_ From his hands as he walks from the grave _

_ No one was saved _

 

(Billy POV)

It was almost as if he was possessed. He bolted from his car, and took a running leap from the edge.

Hitting the water wasn’t pleasant, but he’d planned the angle so there was no serious injury.

He wasn’t jumping for his original reasons.

He surfaced and looked wildly around for Harrington. He couldn’t see him anywhere.

 

XXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

He hit the water head first. Upon impact everything went black.

 

_ Ah look at all the lonely people _

_ Ah look at all the lonely people _

 

(Billy POV)

Suddenly he saw a ripple in the water and dove for it. It took a moment, but his hand finally found Harrington.

When he dragged them to the surface, Harrington was completely unresponsive. Billy refused to think about it as he found a way out of the water.

After he’d hauled them both onto dry land, he checked Harrington over.

There was no pulse, no breathing.

CPR it was then. It felt like what might have been five minutes before Harrington was coughing up water.

 

XXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

Waking up was one of the most unpleasant experiences. He was coughing his lungs up and gagging.

It was pretty clear he’d been unsuccessful at killing himself.

As he attempted to breath he looked around. Surprisingly his eyes locked on to Hargrove hovering over him soaking wet.

“Why the fuck would you save me?” he croaked out.

“Was I just supposed to watch?”

“Why couldn’t you just let me die?” Steve half sobbed.

“Look I don’t even know why I did it.”

“Why are you even here.”

There was a few beats of silence, then Hargrove pulled something out of his pocket. It was a wet piece of folded paper.

He gave it to Steve, who carefully opened it.

It read:

If this actually gets found. I would like it known that it is pretty much entirely because of the abuse from my father that this happened. He’s a piece of shit who should have died instead.

Someone should check on Max once in a while to make sure he keeps away from her, but I get the feeling she can fend for herself.

Someone tell Harrington I’m sorry about fuking up his face.

Billy

He was stunned to say the least. Steve had come there to kill himself, but so had Hargrove. He didn’t really know what he should or could say, so he pulled his own note out and handed it over.

 

XXXXXXXX

 

(Billy POV)

He had no idea what possessed him to give the note to Harrington, and he certainly hadn’t expected to be handed one in return.

He peeled it open, and it read:

So it’s probably been a few months at least.

I don’t really know if anyone will find this, or will have even noticed that I’m gone.

Make sure the kids know that there’s nothing they could have done.

This was my choice and I’m sorry.

Steve

Harrington hadn’t mentioned his family at all. He only cared about those kids.

“Ok well, I’ll give you a ride home.” Billy found himself saying.

By some miracle Harrington didn’t argue, and they stumbled back up to the car.

When they pulled up outside his house, Harrington didn’t get out.

“Are you still going to do it?” Harrington asked.

“Not sure. You gonna try again?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you come in? Misery loves company.”

Billy wasn’t really sure if that was a good idea, but he found himself agreeing.

 

XXXXXXX

 

(Steve POV)

He knew he couldn’t stand being alone again, so he invited Hargrove in. He even went upstairs and got them both dry clothes. 

They wound up in the living room drinking, which was pretty much how both of them seemed to cope with things.

“So Harrington, what makes you want to die?” Hargrove asked him.

“The loneliness and the nightmares.”

Steve didn’t see a point in lying at this point.

“What makes you want to die?” Steve asked back.

“Everything is so fake. My father beats me near to death most days.”

Looks like they were both being honest now.

“Was I going to die without you?” Steve asked.

“You weren’t breathing and had no pulse for maybe five minutes.”

“Oh.” 

He honestly didn’t know how he felt about that.

“If my father found out I’d given you CPR, he’d try to beat the faggot out of me again.”

“Is that the reason he does it?”

“He doesn’t have any proof.”

“Is there any proof?”

Hargrove didn’t answer, but the answer was clear on his face. 

“That’s okay. I could be making out with a guy on the couch and my parents wouldn’t even notice on the rare occasion they felt like showing up.”

“Life fucking sucks.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

Things weren’t magically better after that, but no one died.

One night Billy showed up at Steve’s house bleeding, with a duffle bag. Another unsuccessful attempt to “beat the faggot” out of him. Billy pretty much moved in with Steve at that point. His parents never even noticed. 

Billy was over most nights before that anyway. Having Billy sleeping in the bed with him helped with Steve’s nightmares. It was a combination of not being alone, and having someone there when he woke up terrified. 

They even found themselves a therapist, to help deal with their individual traumas. Even if Steve couldn’t be truly honest.

They were each others support systems. 

Things were hard and far from perfect, but they were trying, and they were doing better.

 


End file.
